BE A HERO: SHOW UP FOR YOUR WEDDING!
...and except no less from your spouse.

This Pop Superhero has *heard* of Proxy Marriages before, but falsely assumed this was ONLY for emergencies where the bride or groom took ill or had a canceled flight.  I recently learned that BOTH bride *and* groom may be "in abstencia" and still be legally married.  MARRIAGE BY PROXY? ABSENT BRIDE *and* GROOM? Proxy Marriages... Where Neither Brides Nor Grooms Need Be Present! 

One is forced to wonder... Is this some strange legal loophole for people who need a rushed, marriage, on paper only, for legal purposes? If so, how long does one have to stay "marry for money," or for citizenship, for that matter? Do we *really* need "Double Proxy Weddings," and when did they become legally binding?  The obvious question is, "If neither of you can even make time for a short wedding ceremony, or a mere trip to city hall to sign a form, how on Earth are you going to make time for a marriage?  And, if this is only a marriage for "legal purposes," why is it even legal?  Here's the most recent article I've read on Proxy Marriages.  It's from Bizzarre News:

Anybody want to get married? Two Montanans repeatedly take  
marriage vows without the benefit of divorce, but they aren't  
polygamists; they are proxies for absent brides and grooms.  

Montana is the only state that allows a double-proxy wedding,  
meaning both sides can be no-shows. Kalispell, Mont., began  
taking advantage of this quirk about five years ago, when a  
native son serving in Iraq wanted to marry his pregnant girl-  
friend.   Some research by lawyer Dean Knapton and -- viola! -- Friday afternoon nuptials were born.  

The law had been on Montana's books for several decades, per-  
haps to accommodate soldiers during World War II.  
The cost to the real, albeit absent, bride and groom: $900,  
of which $50 apiece goes to the proxies, $100 to the judge,  
$150 to the lawyer-witness; $53 for court fees; $14 for two  
certified copies of the marriage certificate. The rest goes  
to a Pennsylvania couple who run a business facilitating  
proxy marriages.